Dispatches from the ‘security show’

Boo!

Got you, again, airport security. It’s just me having a little fun with your ridiculous fear.

No doubt there are legitimate terrorist threats to the world’s aviation system — that much is certainly obvious — but we’re going to suggest that this isn’t really one of them.

It’s a little squeeze thing to blow dust off camera lenses, but if you squint your eyes and, maybe, drink heavily, it could be mistaken for a hand grenade, according to a U.K. photography website.

Noel (Patterson), a sports photographer from Buxton, Derbyshire, said of the 20 August incident: “My camera bag was scanned and the blower identified as the problem.

“The guard went to the supervisor to check and then said that any object that could be held up and look like a grenade was prohibited – even though everyone obviously knew it wasn’t.”

The photographer, whose final destination was Denver in the US, added: “While I was aware that you now have to be able to switch on all devices, if asked to do so, I did not know there was a restriction on carrying items that could be considered to look like a grenade.”

You’re not getting off lightly here either, U.S. airport and airline officials.

Because of the great threat they pose now, daughters are no longer allowed to push their elderly mothers in wheelchairs to the gate in many cases if the relative doesn’t have a ticket (although in some airports, you can get a “gate pass” if you know enough to ask for it).

In Newark,  New Jersey, Alice Vaticano had to rely on a Southwest Airlines employee to push her to the right gate instead.

And there she sat. For 11 hours.

Southwest gave her two $100 vouchers for her trouble.

(h/t: Paul Weimer)